Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
