I saw his package. It spoke to me.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
