your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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