apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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