Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
