Fuck appropriateness.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I want a musical about memes.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
