i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
