Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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