I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
