She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Actions speak louder than pants.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
