marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
