btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Alive.
So much puke
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
