Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
