At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Randomize
