I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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