So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
