woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
