my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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