Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I want to fling myself into the sun
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
