You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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