sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
