hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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