Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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