He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
