Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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