Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
