I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
