Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
