You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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