oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
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