Im at strip club and am horny
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
