I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
