So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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