Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
