So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Randomize
