i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
