Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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