so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
