I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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