He passed out mid-signature
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
