I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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