At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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