i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
