take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
