atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
