with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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