I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
