i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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