Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
