At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
