if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
